Man, oh man...

Well, I'm back from my adventure south of the border. And now that I've had a full 24 hours to take a breath, take a shower and catch up on some sleep, it's time to give an initial report. There was WAAAAAAY too much that happened to give in one blog post, so I'll be breaking it up into various categories over the next week or so, but for now I'll just make a few statements.

- I have never before lead a trip that was entirely guys. I may never be allowed to again. We had the requisite mustache growing challenge (pics to come later), we have a number of stories that will probably never be shared with anyone else (for good reason), and since beans are a main staple of mexican cuisine I think they just might have to burn down our cabin. But all that said, I saw a group of 12 individuals become a strong team of brothers, and I couldn't be more proud of them.

- I saw a basketball team compete against teams that were bigger and stronger. I saw them win by playing as a team and supporting each other. I saw them get attacked (literally) and keep their heads and represent Christ in a situation that was not easy. I also saw Steven get a bear hug from a large angry black man for his birthday, which we all know is what he really wanted anyway.

- We helped improve two schools in Angahuan. As hard as those guys played, they worked even harder. Have I mentioned how proud I am of them?

- We got to spend time with some of my dear friends, the Stefflers and an Allen. Having met them previously I knew I'd enjoy my time with them, a real blessing for me was seeing the team click with them so well.

- And being the good sports we were, while we were able to defeat the villagers in basketball fairly easily, we were happy to get our butts whipped by them in soccer. Final them 6, us 3. However, it should have been 6-4, we are pretty sure they cheated us out of one goal, trust me. :D

- Ultimately, my favorite part of the trip was seeing God move in the team as a whole, and in each individual member. I got to know 11 young men in a way that can only be described as a God event. They each have my utmost respect and I consider them brothers. I have been blessed to spend a week with them.

Like I said, this is just the beginning. There will be much more to come later. God bless.

While I wait for my laundry to finish...

I figured I could take this time to share a little about why I am sitting here waiting for laundry at 10:40 pm on a Thursday. On Saturday I will be joining 10 other young men (that's right, I'm still claiming to be a young man... it's my blog, my right to be irrational) as we venture into southern Mexico to the Purepecha village, Angahuan. We will be meeting up with friends of our who are missionaries there. (For more on them check out their blogs: sharonsteffler.blogspot.com and missionmeseta.blogspot.com) There is one other guy meeting up with us in Mexico bringing our grand total to 12. Now I've done a number of trips with our fellowship and have experienced a number of different types of missions works, but this one is a first for pretty much everyone involved. We are going to play basketball. That's right our missions trip is to go play basketball. Well, technically our trip is for 9 of us to play, one of us to referree, one to take care of all the technical arrangements (me) and one of us to assist the leader.

Now I'm sure a few of you are wondering "How is playing basketball a missions trip? Will you be preaching too?" And the answer is no... well, not exaclty. You see we are going to an area of Mexico where open preaching of the gospel isn't a good idea. So for some time our friends, the Stefflers and the Allens, have been reaching out to the local people through acts of goodwill (i.e. teaching english, medical missions, fixing homes and fences, etc.) So we are going to show some more goodwill ourselves and hopefully increase the standing within the village of our friends and open more doors for the gospel to go forward. This approach goes right along with our stance in Adopt-A-Child. "People won't care what you believe until they believe you care." Here's a list of the things we intend to do while in Mexico. (I say intend because if you have ever been on a trip in Latin America, you know that plans simply mean this is what might or might not happen at any given moment. :D )

- We will playing basketball (and other things) with anyone who wants to play. Basically a "hey come play the white guys" basketball tour. Should be fun.

- We will be helping improve one or more basketball courts for a school/schools. We will be doing such things as putting up backboards, painting lines, mending fences, whatever.

- We will be going to a youth conference a week from Saturday and will hopefully have a chance to speak some.

- The newest development is we will be playing in a basketball tournament on Sunday (right after we arrive). This is a level one (high level) basketball tournament. Various towns in Mexico send teams to play and the winner gets 35,000 pesos (about $3000 american). We have been asked to play and represent the village of Angahuan. We have NO idea what the skill level of the other teams are, and we may get out butts whipped soundly. But either way we will represent the village and gain respect for the Stefflers and Allens with our willingness to play. And who knows, maybe we will win a game and give instant cred to the missionaries. Either way, it's like I told the guys, how often do you get to play in an international tournament and represent an entire village? So stinkin cool. (Oh and if you want to pray for a God-type blessing on our playing ability, we wouldn't be opposed. :D )

- We will be taking a horseback ride to the lava ruins near the village... one of my favorite places anywhere.

- We will be doing whatever else we can to be a blessing to the Stefflers and Allens, to be a witness to the villagers and have fun at the same time.

Our flight leaves O'Hare around 8 pm on Saturday and we will land on US soil again around 5:30 am Sunday Aug. 2. So if you want to pray for us while we are gone, please feel free. I'm certain I will have a TON of pictures to put on facebook when I get back, so you have that to look forward to as well. Until then, God bless.

Due to the economy I can no longer afford witty blog titles

I had planned on typing out a blog on a single topic, but this week there've been couple things bouncing around in the romper room that is my brain, so instead you will get another conglomerate of ideas. Enjoy.

- Arthur had our 4th of July Fireworks on Saturday night and I kinda struggled with it. As I've said in a previous blog, due to this missions journey God has taken us on, I'm kinda ruined for the American way of thinking. And as I sat waiting for the show to begin I felt a little torn. On one hand I know that the Arthur fireworks does a lot of good for bringing revenue into Arthur and supporting our local economy. But I couldn't help and think of the good that could be done in the world with the absurd amount of money spent on 45 minutes of instant gratification entertainment. The economy can sink, but if there's one thing we as americans will shell out cash for it's entertainment. We might not do it as frequently as before, but we will still pay for our movies/cable/sporting events/gaming systems/etc. Now, I'm not pointing fingers or taking a "holier than thou" stance, cause I'm just as guilty as the next guy... it just got me thinking. And to be honest I'm not sure how I feel about it all yet, but I'm certainly not as comfortable with it as I was before. Of course, as you well know, if I do sort it all out, you'll hear about it. :)

- And yes, that fireworks show is the one that apparently made national headlines. Yes, the 16 inch shell had a malfunction and didn't detonate until it hit the ground a couple hundred feet from the spectators. No, noone was seriously injured. Yes someone was taken away in the ambulance, but it was not a serious injury according to someone who would know. and Yes it was freakin awesome. I loved it. Kaylee loved it. No, I'm not talking about anyone who got burned in any way, but the effect of seeing a massive explosion and then seeing fire literally rain down upon me. I'm a bit of a pyro and adrenaline junkie, so that rush was just what I love. As for the people who are making all the "it was irresponsible" and "I'm never coming back" comments, when you go to a firework show and sit close, there is always a risk and you choose to take that risk. Was the malfunction intended? Of course not, but accidents happen, be glad noone got seriously hurt and move on. Thank you.

- My current favorite songs are "praise the father, praise the son" and "exalted" both by Chris Tomlin. Check em out.

- We are even deeper into "missions mode" since I will be in Mexico (along with 11 other guys) in less than a month. And Jennifer and I are working on sorting out a trip to Northern Ireland/Scotland in Sept. to attend a LWI/Adopt-A-Child conference. I've made the joke before that my life now has a category I call "APC" which means "After Paul's Call". I can still vividly remember the strange message on our answering machine from a guy I didn't know in an accent I couldn't understand. Since that call our lives have been full speed ahead and we're loving every minute of it. :D

- I saw the Transformers movie for the first time the other day (yeah I know I'm behind, but we're broke... I had to borrow it from a friend). I'll be honest I was disappointed at the language and the innuendo. I remember watching transformers as a kid (the cartoon) and loving it (side note... LOVED that they got the same guy to do Optimus Prime's voice.... SUCH a huge nostalgia thrill), but the innocence of that cartoon is lost in this movie. And I know a lot of young kids who wanted to see that movie because it's transformers, but I certainly wouldn't let Kaylee see it as a non-teenager. I've heard one argument from someone my age of "yeah I loved it as a kid, but I'm not a kid now, so I'd rather have a movie more my style". I've heard the same thing about "land of the lost" that recently came out, the Dukes of Hazzard movie and others. Basically, the original concepts have been pushed to the edge and lost it's innocence. The problem with this argument is it is totally and disgustingly selfish. Basically what the person is saying is that "I don't care about being able to share my nostalgia with kids today. That's not enjoyable for me. I'm past that, I want a movie for my enjoyment." And we wonder why american society is seen as self-serving and arrogant by the rest of the world. sigh.

- And finally on a fun note, you know how it's said some things are just lost in translation? One of my closest friends, Chuck, had a brilliant idea one day. He went to one of those translation sites on the web and entered John 3:16 from the King James Version "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life". Chuck then translated it into Japenese, copied it, and using the site translated it back into engligh. Here is the translated phrase:

"For God, his only son he was born, his love of life gave the world forever Please do not believe he killed anyone"

You gotta love it.

Hope you all have a great holiday weekend. God bless.

- Shrek

Because I know you've been dying to know...

I shall now give you a quick hit list of all things "us", that way you can get your fix and return fully focused to your lives. :D

- Tomorrow is Kaylee's 3rd birthday. I would say I can't believe she is that old, but on most days she acts much older than a 3 year old. For instance, one of her favorite shows at the moment is Hannah Montana, her favorite movie currently is High School Musical 3, she knows the Jonas brothers, and when I don't do what she wants she will sigh big, put her hand on her forehead and say "oh good grief" (or something similar). At this rate we will hit the "teenage years" by the time she is 6.

- For her birthday we are heading to St. Louis tonight and going to the zoo tomorrow. Here's for praying rain away tomorrow.

- We spent a week in Carrollton, GA (outside of Atlanta) for the CFN church conference. It's always a great time and this year was no exception. We got to spend time with old friends, meet new ones and even got to see the Schroeders, who had moved there from Arthur early last year. Unfortunately, as with every conference, we didn't have nearly enough time to spend with everyone, but I still wouldn't pass it up for anything.

- At the conference, one of the speakers was Daniel Juster. His intelligence level is astronomically high. Even though it left my head spinning, one of the best sessions I've ever been to, anywhere. :)

- I have been "reassigned" at work for the village. I now only work in the visitor center on Saturdays and the other days I work for the streets and alleys dept. I am the whatever guy and do whatever is needed when I'm there. Lots of scooping horse poop, weed-eating, watering and other various things. It's a nice change of pace and at least I won't be pasty-white from sitting behind a desk all summer. :D

- I'm still buzzin off the high that is the Guatemala trip. I'm missing all of my new friends from that time and long to see them again. I'm fairly certain I will be back next year, with Jenn this time. She needs to experience it and I need to get back. :D

- With Guatemala done and past, the next trip on the docket is Mexico. We leave July 25 from Chicago and fly to Morelia Mexico. We will spend a week there and return on Sunday Aug 2. We are taking a team of 12 guys down to play in a basketball tournament of sorts and do various odd job projects. Our goal is to help connect the local youth to our friends in ministry. I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am about this trip. I'm excited to see what God has in store for the people there, I'm excited to see our guys grow and mature in God, and I get to see some dear friends in the process. PLUS you just can't beat authentic tortillas.

- On a side note with that trip, I've decided that while I'm not a proponent of "God our mother", I am certain that God is a feminist. My wife gets to say "I told you so" much too often for that not to be the case. I was freakin out about the plane tickets because we were having serious issues getting them booked. Every time we would raise the amount needed the cost would go up. So here we are about a month out and no tickets (not good for my state of mind) and the whole time I'm freakin, Jenn is saying "God knows and we believe this is His will to go, it will work out..." Well, this week we got the tickets and the price dropped to below the original price 2 months ago.... sigh. She is ALWAYS right. Grr. :)

- We thought Mexico would be our last trip for this year, but there is a chance we will take another trip in the fall. As we are becoming increasingly involved in Adopt-A-Child (more on that in the future after some of the dust has settled), we believe we might be going to a conference they have in September. The best part, it's in Northern Ireland. :D Nothing definite yet, but we REALLY, REALLY, REALLY want to go.

- Don't ya just know that when God starts moving and things are happening the attacks come? After the amazing week we had last week at the CFN conference, this week I have pulled a muscle in my back, had a random allergic reaction that swelled my eyes almost shut, had Jenn's paycheck have an error, my paycheck have an error, both paychecks being small to begin with because of the time taken off for the conference, the gas on the stove left on for an entire afternoon (even though neither of us used the stove that day, which was strange), the air conditioning drain plug and leak into the utility room, the a/c vents in the back half of the house quit working after they fixed the drain, me spending a day under the house finding out that the previous drain issues had filled the a/c tube under the house with water and having to fix it, and have the shocks in Jenn's car sound like they are about to die. I REALLY hate when the minutiae of life gets in the way of doing Kingdom work, so as you can imagine I've been a little annoyed this week. The good thing, I'm not discouraged or complaining, just explaining. And rest assured, this just fires me up to do more. Like I've always said, the attacks come when you are doing something positive for the Kingdom. Enemies don't attack places that aren't strategic.

Ok, that's enough rambling for now. I'm sure I've forgotten a thousand things that are going on, but that's enough for now. I pray all is well with you. God bless.

I'M RUINED! RUINED I SAY!!!

Ok, I've been back in country about a week now, so I guess I'm ready to try and put my thoughts into words (we'll see if that's true...) I will get to the reason for the blog title in a moment, but let me set the stage a bit...

Sunday, May 10 I flew out of Chicago heading for Guatemala City. I was taking part in a training trip with Adopt-A-Child (if you are unfamiliar with what AAC does, check out this blog from last summer
http://mattnjenn.blogspot.com/2008/09/im-not-dead-yet.html )
with a group from various points on the globe. To make it a little easier to organize, I will bullet point some aspects of the trip (also if you would like to see pics they can be found on my facebook page, if you don't have my facebook page go here, add me and put "blog referral" in the message line)
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/profile.php?id=643878564&ref=name
On to the trip info:

* The group consisted of 3 people from the US, 3 from Canada, 10 from various parts of the UK, a missionary from Albania and two missionaries from the US. Needless to say half the fun was trying to understand each others accents. :D Unfortunately, Jennifer was not able to go with me, but that allowed me to room with the 3 guys from Canada. While I missed Jenn terribly it was a huge blessing to get to know Dean, Jason and Richard in a way the others did not. No one else was privy to the conversations and genuine personalities that I got to experience, I am truly grateful.

* I was reminded again of how important the sponsor/child relationship is. We were at one home visit when we asked a boy (who had just tagged along) if he was sponsored, he ran back to his house and then came out with a half dozen pictures of his sponsor. He had a huge grin on his face. That connection is sooooooo important.

* There are 9 feeding programs in Guatemala. 3 are in the Antigua area and 6 in the Quiche region. 3 of the 6 in Quiche are deep in the mountains. It was gorgeous country but very treacherous terrain. Again I am humbled by the dedication these children (and the AAC workers) show in being a part of the program, and saddened by the lack of dedication to the things of God by the supposed "civilized world". (And yes, I put myself in that group)

* Both Antigua and Chixocol (in Quiche) have a medical and dental clinic. It certainly does not have all the frills and bells and whistles of a clinic in the US, but they are dedicated to serve as best they can with what they have. Much of their equipment is quite old and second hand, and they are in need of much. But they still see the needs of those who come. They don't descriminate, in fact they name patients who have aids, yet they treat them with no reservation. At the Chixocol clinic, they work 8-4 Monday through Friday and are on call 24/7. On a regular day they see 30-50 patients. Ask your local physician... that's a lot. But through this care and the nutritional menu of the programs, they are seeing a great increase in the health of the kids. The best part? They use the time at the clinic as another tool to share the gospel. AAC is about treating the body, but determined to treat the soul. That's why I'm proud to be a part of it.

* We mostly traveled using the bus (Patricia) or the vans... but my favorite way to travel was standing in the back of the pick-ups. I'd do it here if it were allowed. :D

* I got to meet the boy we sponsor, Isaias (pronouned ees-eye-eeh-ahs) which was a huge joy. He is a great kid with an infectious smile. Plus at various points of the meeting his hat was forwards, sideways and backwards.... I do that too... loved it.

* Isaias had a pretty good home situation. His father has passed away but his mom is able to provide for him with help from his older brothers. He is lucky, most kids are not in that situation. AAC did a study of the families involved with the program (about 3000) and found that 60-70% of the women are in abusive relationships. One such story we talked to a woman who's husband has many mistresses. He gave her an STD and now wants to divorce her because she is "unclean". He tells her she is worthless and damaged. This is quite common with the Quiche people. This cycle of abuse won't change without Jesus. One of the things the pastors of AAC have been doing is using Mother's Day to teach that God loves women and they do have value. It was such a blessing to see the body of Christ ministering right at the point of need. If you would, please continue to pray for these women and the people ministering to them.

* Our missionary hosts, Ana, Steve and Erminda were incredible. They were so gracious and patient with us. There are not enough words to sing their praises. I am so blessed to know them.

* There is no joy like the joy of returning to the states and being able to flush the toilet paper. If it were not for the assured looks of quizzical disgust, I would cheer in the restroom of the airport each time. But as to not seem completely bonkers I only cheer on the inside... but oh how I cheer.

I know there are a thousand things I'm forgetting to post, so they may pop up in subsequent blogs. But that's enough for now and it brings me back to the title of this blog. I'm ruined. I really am. I'm utterly and completely destroyed for this world. Everytime I travel on a missions trip I come back a a little more disconnected from the "american way of life". American society is based upon working in order to increase your things, to have nicer things and then be financially secure. But you know what? I don't care. I don't need a big house. I don't even need to own my own house. I don't need nice furniture, gimme second hand stuff. I don't need a "nice" car, just one that will get from point A to B. I don't need to go see movies, eat at nice restaurants, etc. Not only do I not need it, I don't want it. What I want is to see God move, to be involved in His plan worldwide. I want to be so in the middle of His plan for my life (and my family's) that I am trusting Him to provide. Now that doesn't mean I'm going to sit on my butt and do nothing. Right now His plan involves me working various part time jobs in order to pay the those things that are necessary (i.e. rent, utilities, clothes, food, etc.) But my clothes are hand-me downs from my youngest brother? Awesome. :D My furniture mostly came from wal-mart and/or garage sales? Sweet. I simply don't care. Like I said I'm ruined for this world. And am loving every minute of it. God bless and would love to hear from you. If you have any questions on my trip, just let me know.

- The unexpected world traveler

Do you have hope? or are you just hoping you do?

Ok, first things first. No I haven't posted in forever. No I'm not ignoring the blog or my readers... both of them. It really comes down to two reasons:

1.) I much prefer to talk to people in person, my thoughts flow from conversation, so often I find it difficult to write on topics. Without the give and take of conversation I tend to try and answer the questions before they are asked and rambling becomes almost a certainty. Sometimes it's just difficult to know where to begin, and I don't like to write without some sort of a plan. Not a good reason, but still a reason.

2.) My schedule has been crazy the last month or so. I have emcee'd a high school music program, we've had two guest speakers in church (one of whom will be mentioned later in this post), I am playing a part in the grade school musical this week, I leave for a 10 day trip to Guatemala missions trip this Saturday, we have another guest speaker coming at the end of may, planning for our trip to the CFN conference in Carrollton, GA, in June, and planning/fundraising for a missions trip to Mexico in July. Anyway, I currently have multiple irons in multiple fires and by the time I have time to post a blog I find myself quite exhausted. :D

However, today I have a specific purpose to post. Our most recent guest speaker was a man by the name of Bill Allison. If you don't know of him, Bill is an amazing man of God, an even more amazing father and husband, and one of my personal heroes/mentors. He is a missionary to the local church. He is the Executive Director of Cadre Ministries and they work to help equip "volunteers" at the local church. (I put that in quotes because if you talk to Bill long you'll find he doesn't like the term volunteers, but for my purposes it's the best term here.) I STRONGLY encourage you to check out his blog at http://cupojoewithbill.blogspot.com/ and the Cadre website at http://www.cadreministries.com/. This past Sunday Bill spoke on the topic of hope. It's pretty evident our nation is currently at a time where hope can be hard to see in most people. However, as believers we should be people of Hope. Bill challenged us to read Genesis 37-50 at a pace of 2 chapters a day. This is the story of Joseph and there are a lot of lessons on hope that can be found in this passage. What I would love to see happen is that you would join me in this challenge and would read these chapters and then post your thoughts on hope. I don't want to say much about the topic in order to allow discussion to flow, however I will say that Bill contends (and I agree) there are two types of hope. One type is the "i wish" or uncertain hope. The other is certain hope.

SO, feel free to join us in this. Post your thoughts on hope. Post your thoughts on the lessons of Joseph. As a closing note, be aware that I will gladly join the conversation and will respond to anyone who posts, but if you post later than Friday, May 8, I will be on my way to the airport and won't be back for a bout a week and a half, so you're on your own after that. God bless.

- Mateo

This double-edged sword

Hey all. No, I'm not dead. No, I'm not ignoring blogging. In fact, for about 2 weeks every time I get online and go to my dashboard to read up on all the blogs I follow, I stare at that little button that says "new post" and try and muster up the words to speak. The problem is it's been a rough couple of weeks. Let me explain why this is such an issue.

God has blessed me with a very passionate personality. I am passionate about a lot of things. I am passionate about my sports teams. I am passionate about my family. I am passionate about my ministry. And above all I am passionate about my God. It's part of what makes me able to do what I do. I'm all about vision and desire and purpose. I can't talk about things that I'm not passionate about. I am driven by that passion. The flip side is that I have issues with doing things I'm not passionate about. I am not passionate about my part time jobs. I understand that they are important, and I devote energy to them. But I'm not passionate about them. When visitors come to our town and it's my job to direct them to businesses to help drive up the economy I struggle. I struggle to help them spend money on things that are probably not needed (or could be found cheaper elsewhere) when there are so many people in our nation and around the world who have nothing. I struggle when I hear people talk about trying to find the right piece of furniture when all I can think is I wonder if they've found a relationship with the God of the universe, and that that's the only thing that matters anyway. I struggle because that issue is number one in my mind. All other issues aren't even in the top 100 comparatively. This thought consumes me. That is my passion driving me.

But here is where my passion gets me in trouble. When something is bothering me it also can consume me. When the thing that is bothering me involves ministry, it's near impossible to hide. Recently there have been some things said that have been quite hurtful and honestly misguided. I'm not angry at anyone, I am hurt by it, but I'm certainly not going to air such things in such a public forum, that's just not bright.

But that's why I've not been writing. When I sit still, when I lay down at night, when I'm driving, any time I have a moment to think, this recent issue is what consumes me. I'm constantly talking to God trying to work it out. (and before it sounds like it's a one way issue, I know I make mistakes and one of the things I'm trying to work through is the reaction my flesh wants to take... it's getting better by the grace of God.) So I say all that to say if I ever disappear for awhile and it's not due to a trip somewhere. It simply means an event has transpired and due to my passionate nature, it's consumed me. Be patient, I will always come back.

I pray you are all well and God bless.

- The impulsive passionate one

The Wednesday Watch

I know. I'm a day late. But Kaylee was sick yesterday and so I had her. Hence, I didn't really have time to sit and blog, so today it is. With no further ado, his past week's blessings:

- I was hit in the eye at Belegarth on Sunday. By all logic it should have either given me a black eye or torn my contact. Thankfully, neither happened. It was just one of those unlucky shots, but I'm grateful for no damage.

- I am still grateful for the chance to do radio commentary for some local basketball games. It is such fun and came out of nowhere.... plus the extra cash never hurts.

- Somehow last thursday night Kaylee ended up going to bed without a pull-up on under her jammies. Neither Jenn nor I caught it. When she woke up she was completely dry. If that isn't the Hand of God at work, I don't know what is.

- For Christmas, we were able to give my parents two tickets to see Celtic Women live in Chicago this past week. I know it wasn't much, but it's a blessing to be able to help both our parents whenever we can.

Ok, the kiddo is callin so that's all for this week. God bless.

The Wednesday Watch

This past Sunday I was reminded of how poorly I acknowledge the blessings and miracles in my life. So in order to try and do a better job of being aware of the Hand of God in my life I've decided to try and dedicate Wednesday's to do just that. (Plus it might help me blog a little more) Each week I will sit down and list a few of the things that have been a blessing to me. Some may be small, some large, but all will be evidence of God in my life.

- I am taking a trip to Guatemala in May to visit the Adopt-A-Child feeding centers there. Unfortunately Jennifer will not be able to go with me on this trip so it's just me. There is a group from Europe going, a couple other Americans, and some Canadians (I think). But I needed to find a flight that would land in Guatemala City and leave around the same time so as to make it as easy on the AAC staff in Guat. I worked on it awhile and then I got some information from the travel agent we use. Not only did she find me a flight for under $400 (all others were $700+) but I'm actually on the same plane as the European contingent going and coming from Guat. It was a HUGE blessing. Then to top it off, we had done 2 missions fundraisers recently and had raised enough money to pay for the ticket right away. I am still thrilled. :D

- On Sunday I got the opportunity to pray with a number of men in the church. It is always a huge blessing for me to be granted that privilege and I don't take it lightly. Not because I get to pray for them, but that I get to be blessed by the journey God it taking them on and be encouraged by it.

- Nick just moved to Kansas City and I'm excited for him. But I've been praying that he would meet people who would support him and give him a network of Christian friends. The weekend he was moving there I found out a good friend from college was moving to the same suburb from another state. So even if they do or don't become close friends, he has someone in the area who at least knows who he is. :D

- I've had a number of different conversations this week where I've been overwhelmed by the Spirit of God while talking. Not in some sort of "super-spiritual" sense, but just feeling His presence surrounding me, and the peace, comfort and wisdom it has given has been amazing.

- I got a call from a friend who was asking if it was ok to put a pastor in touch with us (jennifer and I). This pastor is wanting to get his church more involved in missions trips, and the friend thought we would be a resource. I don't know if anything will come of it, but it's been a HUGE encouragement to us. This is what we feel God is calling us to. Helping connect churches and believers with the world through short term missions trips. Some days it feels like we are never going to get to where we feel we should, and it seems like life just keeps getting in the way. But being reminded that God will orchestrate it in His time is never a bad thing. :D

Well, that's this week in a nutshell. Hope this was encouraging. God bless.

The first step is always the hardest...

It's been forever since I've done this, and every day I'm aware of it more than the day before. So why haven't I written? Well, it's complicated.............................

I live with low-grade Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.). What does that mean? Well basically if I don't get a lot of sunlight I tend to get grouchy and lethargic. In higher grade cases it can easily lead to severe depression and even suicide. For me it means I just am unmotivated, easily annoyed, and basically slightly depressed. And living in central Illinois in January and February means it's a good bet there could be a lack of sunshine. Add to the mix my issues with low self-esteem and yup... a great recipe for home baked depression.

This directly relates to my blogging in that I like to blog about what I'm thinking/dealing with. But lately all I've been dealing with is trying to stand against that constant creep of depression. The other issue is I struggle to reconcile the fact that I'm a Believer who really does love God and truly has a great life because of Him and really have no reason to even begin to be depressed... but yet there it is pressing in nonetheless.

So what have I decided to do? I'm putting it out there for anyone to read. Talk about nerve racking, lol. But I am determined to stand on the truth of my Father and Lover. For depression is simply part of the darkness and darkness can't stay when the Light is there. I've also restarted using very specific checklists for my day in order to keep taking those steps forward. And one of those steps is to blog more, no matter what the situation is. I don't know if that's good news for you all or not, but there it is. God bless. :D

Tis STILL the season...

No, not that season. Well, yes it is THAT season, but I'm referring to the political season that so many hoped would be over as soon as the votes were tallied that first Tuesday of November. Now I had a lot of thoughts on that election, but since Jennifer and I left for our Mexico trip right after that I didn't have time to post. And by the time we got back it felt a little like just trying to self-righteously add my voice at the tail end of the clamor, so I didn't. However in light of the past 24 hours I think the opportunity and responsibility is still there.

For anyone living outside of Illinois (or in a cave in Illinois) who may not have heard, our sitting Governor Rod Blagojevich has been taken into custody by the federal government. He is being accused of a number of things, but most prominently "pay for play" politics and allegedly trying to auction off the Senate seat that became vacant when Obama was elected. Now I'm not going to say he is guilty (you know, I do still believe in that whole innocent until proven guilty thing) but I will say it would not come as a shock to find out it is true. Actually, "come as a shock" is too strong. It wouldn't come as something worth raising an eyebrow at, if it is true. But the laundry list of things about our current Governor that I didn't care for is not what I'm here to talk about. What I do want to address is the response to the new situation that I have seen from so many Christians (myself included at first). So many people are practically rejoicing at the latest developments. They are proclaiming a great win for the people of Illinois and really wouldn't mind if they locked him up and forgot about him. Most of these same people also were very quick to speak very harshly and disrespectfully about him in the past. Again, I am not going to shed a tear for the charges filed against him, nor defend him in his actions. I believe he made his bed and now must lie in it. (As we all do at one time or another.) But there are two things that bother me about this attitude coming from the "christian" community.

1.) Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. Romans 13:1-2 (NIV)

Rod Blagojevich is still our Governor. No that doesn't mean he gets a free pass for illegal activity. No that doesn't mean that we follow his laws if they truly contradict God's. But that DOES mean we still need to respect and honor him. And I just don't see how "christians" calling him derogatory (and even vulgar) names is honoring or respecting him. Or how rejoicing that "the idiot is in jail" (as I heard one person say) honors or respects him. No I don't agree with what he has done and I'm not defending him, but one day I (and all people) will have to stand before God and give account of all our words. I already have more than enough that I am ashamed of, I don't need to add more here. God's word is pretty clear. We are to honor our leaders, it doesn't qualify only the ones we like, but all of them.

**The reason I have put "christian" in quotes is that the term means to be Christ-like... and I just don't think we can use the term and then act this way. I'm not making light of anyone's belief, but the use of the term with these actions.**

2.) Secondly, I find so many believers who are almost giddy at the downfall of our Governor. They have been so dissatisfied with his politics that they didn't care how he left as long as he is gone. They have no problem deriding his name, throwing him out the door and hoping that he disappears into the night. But we have a problem claiming to be Christ-like and reacting like that... Rod Blagojevich is still created by God. Rod Blagojevich is loved by God.

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9 (NIV)

I don't know about his relationship with Jesus Christ or if he has one. What I do know is that he has fallen down and made mistakes (who hasn't?) and he needs compassion and forgiveness and the Truth of God in his life right now. Now some might say "but I haven't done..." But sin is sin right? We've all done that and it all counts. Shouldn't we as Christians stand up and say, "Yes, mistakes were made, and yes there are consequences, but my God is one of forgiveness. I know the God of restitution and reconcilliation. Lemme me share His love with you." But instead I find so many believers dancing on the grave of a fallen man who is no different than you and me but for the Grace of God.



Those are the two things that I find running through my head at a pretty constant rate right now. One of the reasons I find myself looking at things from the point of view is that my hope is not in the government. My hope was not hinged on McCain OR Obama winning the election. Neither man was going to "fix" america, only God can do that. So when Obama won I was actually happy in a way... when Obama was not able to create this new change utopia that many people expect (because he may end up being a great leader, but he still won't be the savior of America... no one outside of Jesus is), God's church would have an opportunity to stand up and proclaim that an elected official will not "save America" but that we know a God who can. I was afraid however, that believers might get into a mud-slinging fight with those who support the "liberals". If our current situation in Illinois is an indication, my fears may come to be. But does it change how I live my life? No. My hope is still in God, not this government, not this country, not anything else. Whether the economy rebounds or the country falls apart, I know that God has me here for this time and a purpose. It doesn't change who I am or who God is, it simply changes the setting for this epic adventure of walking with God. One that I hope someone shares with Gov. Blagojevich. And yes, I'm praying for him and if I get the chance to be that person, I hope I step up. Hope you all are well. God bless.

Ok, so here goes...

Yes, so I've been putting off writing on here because it's still such a massive undertaking to try and talk about/describe the trip. But I don't want to wait too long so I'm going to try and dive in. Part of the problem is I've been trying to figure out what type of format to write in. Should I try and break it up by days? By topic? Just go with a stream of consciousness ramble? None have really "clicked" and that's been a large struggle. So without any overall "plan" on how to write about it all, I'm just going to dive in on the first one and see where it goes. Today's method will be a collection of seemingly random ideas. Enjoy.

*Jennifer and I are now officially representatives of Adopt-A-Child, WOO HOO!!! There is no way to convey the level of excitement I feel over that. We now have packets that we are responsible for and are authorized to seek out opportunities to share about the ministry of AAC. Last Sunday we shared about the trip at church and had 3 kids sponsored, which was amazing. :D Now we are in the process of figuring out the paperwork that needs to be filed when and where, our plan for promotion, and our plan for follow-up. It's exciting.

* I am trying to figure out this whole Skype thing. Apparently this is THE way to contact people in the world of international ministry, so I'm working on it. If you happen to know me and have skype, contact me and we'll get connected.

Now for the trip...

* We flew out of the international terminal at JFK airport in NYC. It was odd to be on American soil and TOTALLY feel like a foreigner. Not bad, just odd. It wasn't a bad experience at all aside from the fact that a seven hour layover is NOT FUN.

* Germany is gorgeous. The architecture, the landscape, everything. We got to ride the autobahn. (No I didn't drive it, but by that point I had been up for about 30 hours and me behind the wheel was not a good idea.) One of the coolest things was just seeing the architecture that was old. I mean, we stood next to a statue that was constructed in 1424... That's 50 years before "Columbus sailed the ocean blue". C'mon, we just don't have that kind of history in our nation. I know the USA hasn't been around that long in terms of the world, and we at times give it lip service. But more often than not we have a view that it's all about us and always has been... that everyone should live how we live, think how we think, etc. But standing next to an almost 600 year old statue is pretty humbling. (Now it was a statue of a wiener dog, and apparently the dog saved it's owner, a royal of some sort. I'm not sure how a wiener dog saves it's owner, perhaps the man ate the dog to survive... but either way he made a statue of it.)

* I need to mention that at the moment I don't have my pictures at my disposal, so you won't get any visual aids on this one. Hopefully next time.

* We didn't do a whole lot of ministry in Germany mostly due to our jet lag. We got in on Sunday, and were up for about 40 hours by the time we went to bed, and then left early on Tuesday. So most of our time was spent trying to recover and sight-see. But it really was one of the best things we could have done, for without that time to recover, we would have been a mess in Albania.

* During our time in Germany, many of the people we met thought we must be from a very large church since they could afford to help pay for our trip. We told them that our church wasn't large, but that they were just a very giving church. This was a great commendation upon our church, but a rather sad commentary on the american church as a whole. There are churches out there with huge congregations and seemingly endless funds... but how are they used? Do we just build bigger and more extravagant buildings filled with more "stuff"? Are we ignoring a better use of our funds in the world around us? Consumerism is the focus of american society, but should it be the church's? Do we need flatscreen tvs in the halls of the church? Do we really need all the lights and flash for worship services? Do people come to our meetings because we have the Love of Christ, or because we have the "stuff"? This train of thought only got stronger as we were in Albania. It was very hard for me to come back and go on with life as before. (See previous post and the Lord of the Rigns quote) I could go off on a huge rant, but I'll stop there for now. I'm sure I'll pick it up later.

* One day in Germany we got to eat a snack at an outdoor cafe. We had waffles and hot chocolate. OH MAN was it good. :D

Ok, that's it for now. Next time I'll pick it up with thoughts on Albania. It may be random or more flowing, I don't know. Hope all is well with you. God bless.

-me

I'm not dead yet

And you must read that title using the vocal inflection from Monty Python.

That's right, I'm back. Actually, I've been back in country for almost a week, but haven't written anything for the need to process everything from our trip. It was a great trip in so many ways, and even now I don't feel like I've been able to wrap my head around what took place. One of the things weighing on me has been "How do I convey what happened (both in writing and in person)?" It was too much. I've seen and heard too many things. I've been impacted by so much. I've been encouraged and humbled, broken down and rebuilt. It was more than I could have possibly hoped for. But now what? As we flew back a quote from the Lord of the Rings popped into my head (imagine that... me using a movie quote to quantify a milestone in my life haha) It's from the end of the Return of the King and Frodo is reflecting on the journey:

"How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on... when in your heart you begin to understand... there is no going back?"

Seeing all I've seen, how do I reconcile my drive to help the ministry and the need to uphold my daily responsibilities? How can I live in the midst of this society that champions consumerism when all I want to do is give it all away? But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me start over.

I realized as I came back that pretty much anyone who's read my blog knew I was going to Germany and Albania... but pretty much didn't know why. (Which in my defense I could not have explained before due to my lack of really knowing WHY I was going in the first place.) Jennifer and I had put our names on a waiting list to take a group to Albania to visit the ministry of Adopt-A-Child. (I'll explain what that is in a minute) But due to some change-over in personnel the ministry had to cancel all group trips for 08, including ours. No big deal, we started working on another option (which became the trip taken to India in July). But shortly after that, Jennifer and I were contacted about an opportunity for the two of us to join with another group and go at the end of August. We immediately jumped on it. The tricky part was we didn't really know why we were going. We hadn't filled out an application, or designated what type of trip we desired. All we knew was there was an opportunity to go, and we went. As we started to learn more about the trip and who was going, we realized we would be with various staff of the international Adopt-A-Child (AAC from here on out) offices. Now that sounds like it should clarify why we were going... but in reality we didn't even really know there WERE international offices. So it didn't help much. We didn't work for AAC, weren't looking to and now we're on this trip with other staff. We didn't know if we were just tagging along, just getting an in depth look or coming back as staff, ha. I mean, we just wanted to visit the kid we sponsor, lol. Anyway, time to leave came and we just left in faith that God would show us why on earth He'd asked us to travel across the world.

Now I need to stop for a second. SOOOOOO much happened on this trip that it's pretty much impossible to put it all in one post without writing a novel. For the sake of space (and my sanity) I won't go into what happened exactly in this post. I will put more in subsequent installments, but for now I'll just talk about WHAT Adopt-A-Child is for anyone who doesn't know.

Adopt-A-Child is a ministry based in Guatemala and Albania. It sets up feeding centers in villages for the children of the area. There are 3 (soon to be 4) in Albania and 9 in Guatemala. The children come and get nutritional meals, limited dental and medical treatment, and spiritual care. These are not necessarily starving or abandoned children. But many are malnourished and in need of basic medical care. AAC allows any child who wants to come to eat and then have the opportunity to attend bible classes afterward. The classes are not mandatory, it's totally the choice of the child. At the bible classes, the children are presented with the Gospel of Jesus Christ. They are given opportunity to receive salvation, taught how to pray and sing LOTS of songs. As the children grow older they are given the opportunity to attend discipleship classes which teach more than the basic intro to salvation, but how to live a godly life and in turn live out their witness. Each child that comes is registered and tracked with a namecard. Then AAC gives people in other countries (such as the US, UK and Germany to name a few) an opportunity to partner with them and sponsor a child. The sponsor gives roughly $30 (or however little or big they can afford) to help offset the costs for feeding. The sponsor is also given the opportunity to interact with the child through letters and pictures.

That's a basic overview of what AAC does. What I didn't realize is exactly how it does it. There are multiple offices internationally, there are multiple internation directors and then support staff of various regional influence ranging from overseeing whole countries down to the church contact who is the local face of AAC. The only face I'd ever known for AAC was Ron and Pat Kelly, the top dogs. We've known them for a number of years and they are good friend with Dad. But due to the vast amount of responsibility/traveling that they do, we don't see them in person much. And because they were the only face of AAC we'd known, we were in the dark about the rest of the structure.

Now you might be thinking "that's great, but there are A LOT of feeding programs out there, what makes Adopt-A-Child so special?" I'm glad you asked:

1.) AAC is not a feeding program. It is a ministry that uses food as a way to open doors. The main focus is NOT the food. The food is simply a tool. The focus of the ministry is preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ. Where there is free food, there will be kids (duh). Then the team has an opportunity to share the love of Christ with those kids. BUT because they want to make sure the kids are doing well in all aspects, the team will also do home visits to check on the child (and see if there are siblings who might want to come as well) which gives the team an opportunity to share the love of Christ with the parents. It's all about sharing the gospel. That is what is of the utmost importance in this life. You can feed starving children, which is absolutely a good thing to do. But whether a child is starving or full to the brim... if he or she does not have a personal relationship with Jesus, they are going to Hell when they die. And we're all going to die. You can rid the world of hunger, but it's still just a giant band-aid. It's just delaying the critical point. We all die and without Christ we go to Hell. Period.

2.) I can vouch for the fact that AAC is not going to steal your money. 90% of what is given goes directly into supporting your child. Only 10% is taken out for other costs. You can either believe me or not, and that's all I'm sayin on that.

3.) If the host countries would suddenly decide that all foreigners had to leave, the ministry of AAC would continue. Why? Because the ministry is staffed and run by nationals. All of the feeding/serving/teaching done in the feeding centers is done by local people. They have been mentored and trained and are now turning around and mentoring/training others. I've seen too many foreign missions works fall apart because it all relied on one or two people usually the visiting missionaries. And if those people had to leave the whole thing would fall apart. This is not that type of ministry. That was so exciting for me.

4.) The financial support of the sponsor is great, but it's really the corespondence that is vital. I saw kids who had every letter/picture/gift from their sponsor in places of honor. It's really about that relationship that makes AAC special. Some people are put off by the name "Adopt-A-Child". No this is not an adoption agency. In fact, it's near impossible to do that from Albania. Many of these kids have their families intact. That's not what it's about. What it's about is spiritually adopting a child/family. It's about becoming invested in a life and being a spiritual father or mother. And while I am NOT saying that adopting children in the natural is not important, is adopting someone in the spiritual any less vital?

Ok, that's my spiel for now. good grief this is long. I'll leave you with a few pictures from our trip. (And yes I mean just a few, I don't think you want me to post all 480 pictures Jennifer and I took... nevermind the 3 gig of pics we got from everyone else. :D) But before I do, if you would like more information on AAC you can either contact me or check out this website www.adopt-a-child.com (This is the UK site, the ministry is working on kicking off a new site, but it's still in the construction phase.) If this has tweaked your heart I STRONGLY encourage you to find out more and get involved. When I mentioned the Lord of the Rings quote I really meant that's how I feel. Just FYI you'll be hearing a lot more about AAC from me... Jennifer and I are in the process of becoming representatives with authority to speak/promote the ministry whereever our shoes may tread. :D Now the pics...

p.s. The boy in the picture with us is the child we sponsor.

And how my soul aches...

I had planned on posting something entirely different and much more light-hearted, but I came across this video on a blog I frequent, and it pre-empted the other post. (Though I will post that one either later tonight or tomorrow...) Here's the video which was filmed at the entrance to the Cornerstone Music Festival this summer.





I cannot put into words how much this pains my heart and how sad this makes me. Now you may hear some less than friendly comments from passengers in the vehicle, and if you go to the actual youtube page you will see all kinds of comments. I do not wish to be or have anyone become the other side of the same coin. What I mean is to turn and rail against the protesters about how "unchristian, horrible, evil, etc." for their view is just as bad as the stance they are taking. Instead I just wanted to say how sad it makes me, how I wish the Body of Christ could actually work together, and how much we need to love and pray for this type of believer. Do they have to rock out to Reliant K and the like? Of course not, they are not wrong in their choice of christian music, just as those who love loud screamo christian music are welcome to that choice. But instead of spending our time reaching the lost with Christ, we are allowing them to fall through the cracks from all of our petty arguments. Anyway, I just needed to share before it consumed me with sadness. Feel free to comment, but if your comments are hostile in nature, there's a good chance they won't be posted, just a forwarning. God bless.

-Matt

This week on RAC...

lots of stuff runnin through my head, so we'll just hit em all in quick snippets...

* Jennifer and the team made it back all safe and sound from India. Well, I guess sound. They got back to town about 1 a.m. Monday morning, and when Jennifer finally laid down to sleep at 1:30 she said it was the first time she'd laid down in a bed in 48 hours. So that plus the severe jet lag and we're still trying to get back to a "normal" routine. So yes they are safe, but the sound part is still up for debate. :D

* I get to go visit Nick on Tuesday and I'm VERY excited. I love Nick, he's one of the coolest people I know. It's funny, I was at college while he was in high school, so he's the brother I didn't get the privilege of watching mature and grow up. But man I love who he's become and that I get to call him a brother.

* One of the coolest things I heard about from the trip to India was this. The people pretty quickly found out that Dad was a "senior pastor". He said that after he prayed for people, they would kneel, touch his feet with their hands, then kiss their fingers. He then found out that it was because they wanted to take the blessing/annointing that was on him back to their families. Wow. How powerful is that? One, I know that reaffirmed to Dad the responsibility we have as ministers to reflect Christ, but also, how sad is it that we in the "civilized American church" don't have that same respect or desire for the annointing God has placed on his children. We are so spoiled.

* Jennifer and I went and saw "The Dark Knight" this week. (I wasn't allowed to see it without her so I had to wait a few days.) LOVED it. I love the new interpretation of Batman anyway, and any movie with Morgan Freeman and Michael Caine is always good, but Heath Ledger was amazing as the Joker. He just personified insanity. However, it can't help but make me wonder how much of that played a part in his death. I know (from articles) that Ledger was the type of actor who totally immersed himself in a character both in front of the cameras and behind the scenes. We'll never know how much, but that has to wear on your psyche.

* Here is my "spiritual awakening" moment for the week. I love movies. I love theater. I love dramas. I love watching the "unlikely hero" type roles. You know, the ones where a person isn't a superhero or anything, but finds himself/herself in a situation where bravery and conviction are called upon. I love to watch the person stand in the face of danger or death and coolly look it in the eye and not flinch. I know I have a bit of a "Messiah complex" in that I want to save everyone and fix everything (not my job, God is helping with putting that desire into proper perspective) and I have a desire to be a "hero". I know it. It's why I like those movies, it's partly why I love sports. And as I'm watching a particular show and watching the guy stand confidently and unwaveringly with a gun in his face, I felt that adrenaline rush of "ooh, that's awesome"... but suddenly I heard that still voice in my spirit say "Is that how I want you to react?" and it kinda threw me for a loop. There was a LOOOOOOOONG process of discussion with God on what He meant by that, but I'll give you the summary. When we face persecution in our lives is it better to stand and stare it down with confidence and stoicism or to look with love and tears in our eyes? Just a thought. (there's a lot more I could say, but I'll stop there for now.)

* We are still prepping for our trips to Albania and Mexico in the coming months. We should have all our flights for Albania taken care of by tuesday next week (which will be a huge relief) but there are still lots of details to work out. Please pray for us, we would love it.

* Stupid Cardinals... get my hopes up and then forget how to win. I've decided to quit my day job and become a reliever/closer for the Cards. I can give up runs just as well as they can and I'll come with a MUCH cheaper price tag. You wait. It's gonna happen.

* Illini Football is just around the corner! Woo hoo!

Ok, that's all for now. Hope all is well with you, I don't know how often you'll get updates in Aug. It's gonna be an insane month. But I'll do my best. God bless.

Wait a second...

wasn't it just June 1??? And suddenly it's the June 21. Man this month has been a whirlwind. It started off innocently enough. But then we had the Arthur Days Festival (complete with massive flooding). And then the CFN Family Conference (which was awesome). And then I went and spent two days with the Bill Allison fam (sans Emily, currently out of state). And during that trip, Jenn was in Missouri with fam all week. Which leads us to today... which just happens to be Kaylee's 2nd birthday. And during all of this we're trying to finish strong in our missions trips while planning a whole new missions venture. As Kaylee would say "Goodness Gracious". All I ask is for a moment to breathe, ha.

But then I was reading an email from a friend, which lead me to a website with a video. In the video there was a quote. "Perserverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another." -Walter Elliot This got me thinking. I often think of life as a marathon and that's true. But no one runs a marathon with just the finish line in mind. I've run distance races before (not a marathon, I'm not into self-torture, lol) and I've never run with just the finish in mind. I always break it down into parts, both to keep it simpler and to keep the task not so daunting. "If I can make it just to that turn" "ok, just five more reps" "ok, that's good, now just another lap" stuff like that. And I'm one to do that in life too, just never thought of it in that regard. Of course, I'm in the middle of one heck of a stretch of "short races". Some days it's overwhelming and I'm just tired. But I also know that it's part of my marathon, and I want to finish strong. Plus I know that God has called Jennifer and I to this, and like I said in the last post, "My daddy sent me to do this, he must think I can handle it" and that gives me strength and faith.

Yup, I'm just rambling today, but that's what happens when I don't sleep for a week. God bless.

And we're back...

Yes, it's been awhile. It's not been due to lack of motivation or material, but because I've been dealing with one topic for quite some time. It started from a simple email from a friend in response to a blog about a month and a half ago, and has enveloped my spirit since. I am just chomping at the bit to post it, but I need to clarify a few things in my mind before I post. Not to make sure I "know it all" but so I am not just jumping into it without giving God (and others) time to speak to me on it. I will say it has directly to do with the concept of living a life of forgiveness. Emily Allison started it, and Papa Ken (Ken Sumrall if you don't know who that is) poured gasoline on the fire with his book "Forgive and move on: a case for unconditional forgiveness". (You can get that book and any others he has written here http://www.shop.kensumrallministries.com/main.sc I strongly encourage it, or if you live close to me, just ask to borrow them) Anyway, I hope to post that blog within a week or two.

That said I did have something I wanted to share today. This past week Mom, Dad, Jennifer, Kaylee and I were at the CFN Family Conference in Peachtree City, GA. CFN stands for Church Foundational Network, and it is the group of ministries that we at Cornerstone Fellowship are a part of. If you want to know more about it, just ask me and I'll be happy to share, but for the sake of space I won't go into that now. It was a 3 day conference and was awesome as always. I could post so much about what went on, but there was one item that I wanted to share, something that really resonated with me.

Pastor Jack Hollis is one of the Apostolic Council members and he spoke at the evening session on Wednesday. He was talking about a lot of things and he just almost in passing made reference to something that hit me right in between the eyes... in a good way. In 1 Samuel 17:34-36 it says
"But David said to Saul, "Your servant has been keeping his father's sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it. Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God."
Now if you've grown up in church you've heard this story, and it's a good one. But Pastor Jack made a comment about this particular situation that I'd never thought about. He said (and I'm paraphrasing, also Jack is from the south, so read this with a southern drawl, ha) "My daddy sent me to tend the sheep. Now he didn't plan on bears and lions comin at me, but he knew it was a possibility when he sent me. So he musta thought I could handle it." I loved that thought. And God is no different. He has called me to ministry. He has called me to be faithful to Him. God knows that tough stuff is gonna come, some of it by his design, some just because of the world of sin we live in. It might not be easy, but He knew it was coming when He sent me, he must think I can do it.

How encouraging is that? I'm a guy who tends to wear his emotions on his sleeve, to be swayed by how I'm feeling in the moment. Sometimes I get discouraged awfully easily and just can't seem to see the forest for the trees. But if I truly trust God, which I do believe I do, then I can trust that He won't send me into something that's more than I can handle in Him. As Jennifer and I try to figure out this thing God has called us to with missions and ministering in Arthur, it is a huge comfort to know that even though we are up against HUGE strongholds of religiousity and apathy, God knew it was here and would come against us, and he called us anyway. He must think we can do it. Sweet.

Anyway, that's my thought for the moment... there's a small chance of another post this evening... but I'm still sortin that one out. I'd love to hear your thoughts and opinions. I pray all is well with you. God bless.

-Me

White water rafting on the River of God

I apologize that the posts have been a little inconsistent lately. I'm about to explain a little of that. I am still working on posting the second half of the "lost the plot" post, but struggling with how far I am to take it right now... but hopefully soon. The biggest reason for the delays is my schedule for the summer. A few years ago Jennifer and I really felt God was directing us toward a life of missions trips facilitating, and this summer has been a major milestone in that. We are coordinating 3 separate trips (with a possible fourth in the fall) this summer. We are also attending a conference this summer. We are taking our annual trip to the Camp Maurer campground in Excelsior Springs, MO. (just outside Kansas City) from May 22 to the 25. Camp Maurer is the Assemblies of God campground for the Northern Missouri Disctrict. And while we are not an A\G church, Jenn's parents are the caretakers. We help clean and prepare the camp for the coming summer. It has been an amazing experience every year and the act of serving has affected us all profoundly. Then we are flying to Peach Tree, GA (outside Atlanta) for the CFN Family Conference. I am SOOOOOOO excited, but to explain would take way too long right now. In July, a group from the church is going to Ongole, India from the 11th to the 20th. I am not going so I can take care of the church services and Kaylee. (The rest of the pastoral staff is going, along with Jennifer.... so I'm the man while they are gone, lol. Pray for me.) And then Jennifer and I are going to Albania with a group of people from Canada, Ireland and Germany August 23-Sept. 4. So as you can see LOTS of flights, preparation and money-raising is being worked on. I promise to try and most more regularly once we get the hang of all this.

I do have one thing to share. The other day I was picking up Kaylee at my parents house. As we were leaving she insisted on walking on the stones lining the driveway. She was doing pretty well, but the stones were a little uneven and giving her some problems. She could have done it herself, but I just walked over to help. As soon as she took my hand she was walking much straighter and quicker. At that moment I heard that still small voice say "That's how it is with you and me. You can do much of this on your own, but it's so much easier when you trust me." and I just smiled. Because it's so true. So as we prep for all these trips I'm just trying to keep my hand in His and enjoy the stroll. God bless.

Somewhere we lost the plot...

I don't usually transcribe something I speak on in the church, usually it's just a stream of consciousness type of thing. However, I'm gonna do just that which I rarely do. :D This is the first part of a message I brought before the fellowship last Sunday. I don't know if I will choose to post any more parts of it or not. It might depend on if anyone wants to hear it, ha. Anyway, here goes. I hope it blesses any who read it.

We all have plans. Some are big, some are small, but we have them to get through our day. Even on days when we are being "spontaneous" we still have plans. We have a plan to get up, get dressed (or not) and do whatever might lead to our "spontaneous day". God is no different. God has plans. He's always had them. From the moment He created Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden there was a plan... we'll call it "Plan A". And then we all know what happened... the fall. The fall brought sin into our flesh and caused us to deviate from "Plan A". (Now, just for clarification. Yes I believe God is all powerful and all knowing. Yes I believe we have free will. Yes I believe God knows what we will choose before we choose, but we still have free will. I'm not going into that particular theological thread on this post. Just a heads up. :D ) Because of sin we can no longer move ahead in "Plan A". Now God could have cut us off there and been totally justified. Adam and Eve blew it. God could have allowed us to be stuck in our new position. But He did not. God put into motion "Plan B". Here is a very brief overview of "Plan B". God gave the law to show our sin, and God gave the sacrificial system to give a way to even approach Him. The key to the system was the shedding of blood as atonement for the sin. However, the sacrifice of animals could not erase our sin, it could only cover it for a time. Then God sent Jesus to die for us, thus satisfying the blood debt we owed. And because it was a perfect sacrifice and then Christ rose from the grave conquering sin and death, we can now ask forgiveness and rejoin "Plan A". "We rejoin 'Plan A'?" some might ask. To forgive is to what? To act as though the offense never occurred. If the offense of the fall had never occurred, then we would still be on "Plan A". So if God forgives us of that sin, we go back to "Plan A". And getting back on "Plan A" leads us to Heaven right? Heaven is the point of the plan right? I say no.

NO?!?!? And before anyone starts chasing me with pitchforks and torches, just hear me out. If Heaven is the point of the plan, why bother starting with Eden? Is the Garden of Eden the same as Heaven? Scripture tells us that Heaven has streets of Gold and mansions and a gate made out of a giant pearl... did Eden have that? Doesn't seem to according to scripture? Remember if there had been no fall and no sin we would have stayed on the course of "Plan A" and if there was no need to go to heaven since there was no sin, can we really say Heaven is the point of the plan?

One of the problems with "American Christianity" is that we've set Heaven as THE point of the plan. It can pretty much be traced back to our puritan backgrounds and the revival of Jonathan Edwards, for example. Now I am NOT bashing Jonathan Edwards and I thank God for his willingness to preach scripture. There is truth in "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God" but I fear it was not taken with balance. Yes it is true that if a person does not repent he or she will spend eternity in Hell. However, people ran with the "turn or burn" message and created a lot of what I call "Fire Insurance" Christians. They aren't really interested in God or finding out about Him. They just don't want to go to Hell. So if they get saved, they don't have to go to Hell.... Fire insurance.

We all have insurances in our lives... whether fire, health, auto, etc. Let me ask you this. How often do you think about your insurance in your day to day life? Most of us only think of it when it's needed (i.e. there is a fire, car accident, etc.) or when we have to pay the premiums. On those days you have to pay the premium, how fondly do you think upon your insurance salesman? If you are like me you tend to have those whispers in your mind that say "Well, we've never had a fire... we might not EVER have a fire... if I never have a fire am I just tossing away money that I could use for groceries or diapers or our missions trip this summer... is it really worth paying in the end? on a chance of something POSSIBLY going wrong?" It can easily lead to a bit of resentment. I am paying good money on something that may never occur. I don't play the lotto cause it's throwing money away at chance... is my insurance any different???

Unfortunately, many people who come to God as "Fire Insurance" begin to view Him the same way. "Well, I've never SEEN Hell... No one I know has SEEN it... who's to say there is a Hell... why do I keep paying (don't do this, don't do that) on something that MIGHT be there... wouldn't I be happier doing my own thing anyway?... and if getting out of Hell and going to Heaven is the point anyway, why doesn't God just 'poof' me outta here when I got saved?" I contend that Heaven is not THE point to the plan. But if that's so... then what IS the point of "Plan A"?

OK, I'm done for this post. I probably will post the next part, but I haven't decided yet. In the meantime if you actually read all that, I commend you... cause I am long-winded. I'd love to get thoughts/view/comments/questions/disagreements. Send em all my way. Hope and pray you are blessed by this. LATAH!