It's been forever since I've done this, and every day I'm aware of it more than the day before. So why haven't I written? Well, it's complicated.............................
I live with low-grade Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.). What does that mean? Well basically if I don't get a lot of sunlight I tend to get grouchy and lethargic. In higher grade cases it can easily lead to severe depression and even suicide. For me it means I just am unmotivated, easily annoyed, and basically slightly depressed. And living in central Illinois in January and February means it's a good bet there could be a lack of sunshine. Add to the mix my issues with low self-esteem and yup... a great recipe for home baked depression.
This directly relates to my blogging in that I like to blog about what I'm thinking/dealing with. But lately all I've been dealing with is trying to stand against that constant creep of depression. The other issue is I struggle to reconcile the fact that I'm a Believer who really does love God and truly has a great life because of Him and really have no reason to even begin to be depressed... but yet there it is pressing in nonetheless.
So what have I decided to do? I'm putting it out there for anyone to read. Talk about nerve racking, lol. But I am determined to stand on the truth of my Father and Lover. For depression is simply part of the darkness and darkness can't stay when the Light is there. I've also restarted using very specific checklists for my day in order to keep taking those steps forward. And one of those steps is to blog more, no matter what the situation is. I don't know if that's good news for you all or not, but there it is. God bless. :D
Yep, That is the World Series trophy.
I know... you're jealous. It's ok. Just repent of your sin and become a Cardinal fan.
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I look forward to reading about all the things you have to say. Also, think about how you could be helping others that struggle with depression as well. Just being honest and telling it like it is, can help other people to relate and then seeing how you come through these struggles will help them to feel that they too can get through such a difficult time.
ReplyDeleteI am constantly fighting away depression as well so if you every need help getting through the struggle, I'm easy to find.